


at a crossroads

by heykiddos



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Canon Compliant, F/M, Gen, Hamburr, M/M, One Shot, POV Second Person, Religious Imagery & Symbolism, Should I even tag major character death? y'all know what's gonna happen, don't worry only the summary is in lowercase, loosely connected. maybe, one shots, undergoing major revisions, why is there a tag called alexander hamilton cat
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-24
Updated: 2019-11-29
Packaged: 2021-02-25 20:42:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 565
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21551674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heykiddos/pseuds/heykiddos
Summary: your sister always said indecision was your downfall.you'd beg to differ. to be a spectator is a choice and you have chosen it all your life, with more or less favorable outcomes.but. but. you'd be lying if you said hamilton hasn't made you think about throwing it all away before.
Relationships: Aaron Burr/Alexander Hamilton, Aaron Burr/Theodosia Prevost Burr
Comments: 2
Kudos: 7





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> hm

"Why do you always have to be so formal?" he asks, one day- as a joke, perhaps, but the delivery falls flat. "We have first names for a reason."

And you want to shoot back, ask him when was the last time he called you Aaron, honey-sweet and gentle, like you have with him- if not out loud then in your head; your heart. But you don't. Because then you would have to see him hesitate, see him come to the same realization that haunts you did, all those years ago, the night before he married Eliza: "never. never." He never will.

Silence is an answer unto itself. 

He lets out a breath, not surprised at your reply -or lack thereof- before gathering up his things. "Tomorrow, Burr," he says softly, like an afterthought- like something only said to fulfill his role in this dance of yours. 

You wish it wasn't so familiar. Life has never been fair before, though, and it'd be foolish to think it'd start now.

"Tomorrow," you think. It's only when the door shuts that you realize this is the first time Alexander has left before you. 

That fact shouldn't taste as bitter as it does.

-

Weeks later, a sort of guilt compels you to take your sorely used bible off the shelf for a bit of light reading. "If I can't make it to church," you reason, "I can at least do this."

You open it and flip towards the latter parts-you hear enough of law and damnation in your line of work, thank you very much-and stop.

**Matthew 7:12:**

**Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you:  
do ye even so to them: for this is the law and the prophets.**

You put it back on the shelf.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> unfinished and unedited snippet of less than healthy thoughts by- you guessed it- aaron burr.
> 
> sir.
> 
> warning: lots of bold and italics. oh and implied sex (in his head at least)

God, when he calls you _sir_. 

You hate it, at times; a reminder of the distance between you two, no matter how teasing the tone. 

Other times you want to hear him say it over and over and over again- but this time you'd be in control. You'd be on top, pinning his wrists down- and the way he'd breathe it out, _god, the way he'd **gasp**_ -

You like to think yourself wise enough not to gamble away everything for one man. But you would give a lot to get one moment like that with him. Just- once. Only once.

Because if you cannot have him _fond_ and _soft_ and _caring_ and _**familiar**_ \- familiar like the back of your hand, like every scar on your heart, like these thoughts, these sinful _**cravings**_ that have haunted you for many a sleepless night- then you will have him in hate, in lust, or in other carnal desires. Have his attention, _all of it_ , on you- you, you, and only _you_. 

Because the opposite of love isn't indifference, it's hate. Because Hamilton Hamilton _**Hamilton**_ has been the only thing on your mind, recently. You have never longed for something as much as you do him, and you will hold onto any scraps of attention he throws out. You are allowed that. Even dogs eat the crumbs which fall from their masters' table.

And maybe then you will allow yourself to whisper, in the presence of his warmth, his name, as you used to do. Fond and revealing too much. One more time before you close your eyes forever.

_~~"Alexander-"~~_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (tell me if you don't want these wips. just feel like i should post them since i don't want to keep you guys waiting.) also ao3 is acting strange so now i have two end notes. whoops

**Author's Note:**

> this might just turn into little snippets of a barely coherent storyline so sorry if that happens. :/


End file.
